I Left My Ruined PR Career In San Francisco | Main | When I Think Back On All The Shit I Learned In High School...
June 02, 2005

How To Drug Friends & Influence People

Oxytocin -- not Oxycontin, the painkiller known as "Hillbilly Heroin" -- makes rufies look like Diet Shasta:


University students who inhaled the [oxytocin] hormone in a nasal spray were discovered to be far more trusting of one another -- eager, in fact, to hand over money to strangers in investment deals.

Somehow I can use this information in my quest for crazy-blog money.

Anyone interested in purchasing Ace of Spades HQ potpourri?

The results suggest trust can be bottled and used to forge commercial relationships. Oxytocin levels have long been known to spike with sexual climax or influence the production of mothers' milk, but the new study suggests they are also "the biological basis of trust among humans."

You had me at "sexual climax." The rest of it was just frosting on the cake.


...

"Of course, this finding could be misused to induce trusting behaviours that selfish actors subsequently exploit," the team wrote.

Shut up, really?

"However our findings may have positive clinical implications for patients with mental disorders."

Indeed. Patient with mental disorder + oxytocin = Ace stealing blind from lunatics and retiring to St. Kitts.

The study already has some cynical scientists musing about whether political operatives will try to crop-dust crowds with oxytocin at rallies...

I wonder what sort of "political operatives" they might mean?

...whereas more hopeful researchers see the hormone as a potential boon in treating people with social phobias, or rare genetic disorders that cause children to trust everyone they meet.

Social phobias? Check. I'm on my way to the pharmacist right now.

...

Naturally occurring oxytocin is more fun, but has its pitfalls. In fact, some sex counsellors warn new lovers not to jump into bed with one another, as orgasms increase levels of oxytocin and can thus impair judgment about a mate's character.

Um, isn't "impaired judgment about a mate's character" the glue that holds couples together in the first place? We should be praising the Miracle Hormone Oxytocin, not slandering it.

And besides -- if you just jumped into bed with someone you just met, aren't you already exhibiting imparied judgment?

If you ever suspected that an awful lot of attraction (both sexual and platonic) was just chemically based, this would seem to be support that theory. Somewhere out there are people who can pheremonically trigger increased oxycotin levels in you, and you'll like them and trust them, for no better reason than they sweat agreeable molecules.


Thanks to LauraW.

Yes! A Military Application!: Dave offers:

Anyway, another use for the "trust hormone" that the story didn't mention, and quite relevant for today: interrogations.

I can't wait for the bleating from Amnesty International when we start spritzing Gitmo prisoners with trust spray.

Too true. A drug that sort of blisses you out (and gives you kick-ass orgasms, should you get lucky) could be used as an aid in some extremely gentle interrogations.

But the civil rights absolutists will flip out, of course.

Beth Update: Oxytocin is apparently also being used to control premature ejaculation.

The Hubris blog has a non-drug alternative.


digg this
posted by Ace at 01:31 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Professor Chaos aka gumdrop gorilla: ">Help me stay strong...there are pastries and bage ..."

Roy: "You all can laugh at this, but umm, shouldn't the ..."

Jen the original: "I don't know what his eventual record will be but ..."

Barack Obama is a bad, bad man: "Was really galls me about that article is his easy ..."

willow: "banana splits guy, and the great unwashed potty ha ..."

Brother Cavil, #FireSessions: "[i]You all can laugh at this, but umm, shouldn't t ..."

Donna and V. (sans amepesands at the present time): "Congressscrunt Stupid Hats will continue to get re ..."

IrishEi: "Who is KWB? ..."

willow: "and as George was my first Republican vote. Boy ..."

geoffb: "125," It gets Blade Runner in ways that fans get ..."

Professor Chaos aka gumdrop gorilla: "360 >>>So this really is a thing, not just an urba ..."

Cicero (@cicero): "[i]"Candid, pragmatic, and always fascinating, Joh ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64