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March 17, 2005

Oh, Boo-Hoo-Hoo, the Bears, the Bears...

AP Nonsense: Alaskans fear oil exploration in ANWR.

The article focuses on a few cherry-picked quotes from the citizens of a tiny town. Unmentioned in the article: something like three quarters of Alaskans favor this drilling, and have for going on two decades now.

Besides, you know what? Bears? Fuck 'em.

Just look at them. Filthy shiftless layabouts, doing nothing all day but scheming about Total Ursine World Domination.

We ought to lock up the lot of them and throw away the key.

PS: Actually, I love bears (well, I love them, but I don't love-love them). But I think they're level-headed enough creatures to not freak out at the sight of an oil rig.

Learn Something Every Day: Yannow, I used to like polar bears. Because they're, well, freaking adorable.

But I'm informed by commenters that they're one of the few animals that actually deliberately hunts humans.

I don't know how I feel about that. On one hand, yes, they're dangerous. On the other hand... I admire the cojones. You know what it takes to be a man-hunter?

It takes brass balls to be a man-hunter.

And Captain Ned tells me they sometime even attack Seawolf-class nuclear attack submarines.

On one hand, huge vicious bastards.

On the other hand-- awwww. So cute.

On the other other hand -- arctic badasses.

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posted by Ace at 05:23 PM

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