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March 10, 2005

Freeper Sleuth "Buckhead" Celebrates Rather Knockout

Free Republic usually only posts excerpts, but here they've published the whole damn article (which otherwise requires annoying registration).

Buckhead, of course, wrote that first post questioning the fonts and proportional spacing in Dan's Dodgy Documents.

Oddly enough, the Atlanta-Journal Constitution seems to give the conservatives the last word in an article for once. (Is it a conservative tilting rag? I don't know. I assume it's not.) After noting that some people (ahem, liberals, ahem) like Ken Auletta still claim Dan Rather was some sort of journalistic Green Lantern, Buckhead & Co. get in last licks:

But none of that mattered to the partygoers, including former Fulton County GOP Chairman Jack Winter and Fulton County Superior Court Judge Michael Johnson β€” who munched hors d'oeuvres on napkins and paper plates decorated like the American flag.

"Congratulations, fella," Winter told MacDougald as he entered the party.

MacDougald sees himself and other bloggers as part of band of citizen journalists who have upset the order of corporate media giants.

"The information oligarchy that TV had, that's gone," MacDougald said. "They'll never be as powerful as network anchors once were."

As Rather signed off, the crowed filed out β€” MacDougald with them.

Said MacDougald, "The wicked witch is dead."

Again, Buckhead is called a blogger, which he's technically not.

At some point we'll have to think of the right term for Buckhead and other non-blogging contributors to forums and blogs. Not technically bloggers, but part of the same army and same movement, obviously. I'm always straining my way around this currently-uncoined-word myself.

Plus... Iowahawk pens his last Dan Rather, Investigator mystery:

strode past the security desk, but Fremont grabbed my arm, roughly. "Sorry Mister Rather, authorized personnel only."

"What the... what's going on here?" I yelled. I felt the goon's stubby fingers clamping down through my trenchcoat. "Here's my badge, you filthy ape -- now you call up Moonves and straighten this out!"

He yanked on the badge, snapping from its lanyard. "Sorry Mister Rather, I have to take this. Direct orders from Captain Moonves himself."

I didn't have time to think. I instinctively reached inside my garbadine lapel with my free hand and wrestled Black Nellie, my trusty Sony FV-100 micophone, free of her shoulder holster. She was a cheap 300 ohm model, but Nellie was deadly in close-range interviews -- like an early encounter I had with the Nixon gang (Dan Rather #1: The Phantom CReEPs). My right thumb switched her safety off, but before I could wheel around Fremont tackled me to the floor. He stomped my hand with his boot heel and kicked Nellie skittering across the lobby marble.

And... Trey Jackson has video of this gasbag saying goodbye-- finally.

But I like the original script for last night's farewell better, somehow obtained by "Rick":

[stage direction] Pan Camera One to close up as I remove my glasses.
Gripping my yet to be verified Bush documents in one hand I shake them at the world.

[teleprompter script]
Do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us
revenge is a dish that is best served cold?
It is very cold in space.
To the last, I will grapple with thee.
From hell's heart, I stab at thee.
For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.

[stage direction] Camera One fade to black

Classy. That's the way I'd go out.


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posted by Ace at 02:46 AM

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