Sponsored Content

Intermarkets' Privacy Policy

« Higher Heels, Shorter Skirts: Pink Revolution Hits Iran | Main | "Arab Spring" Gets Blast of Ice »
March 09, 2005

And Now They're Persecuting Me

Okay, now Israel is really pissing me off.

The IDF (Israeli Army) routinely discriminates against recruits who admit they... play Dungeons and Dragons.

Army frowns on Dungeons and Dragons

IDF says players are detached from reality and automatically given a low security clearance

By Hanan Greenberg

Does the Israel Defense Forces believe incoming recruits and soldiers who play Dungeons and Dragons are unfit for elite units? Ynetnews has learned that 18-year-olds who tell recruiters they play the popular fantasy game are automatically given low security clearance.

β€œThey're detached from reality and suscepitble to influence,” the army says.

How dare they. Does this look like "detached from reality" to you?

Don't you see how the ogre crumbles from the power of my lightning bolt?

And as far as "susceptible to influence" -- well, that's why I wear a Talisman of Free Will. Duh.

.... now the army has confirmed that it has a negative image of teens who play the game and labels them as problematic in regard to their draft status.

This seems like a counter-productive policy to me. In the past, those who wished to evade the draft had to feign a back injury or, pace Jamie Farr, wear a dress.

Now they just need to roll four six-sided dice and then go to the local smithy to buy barding for their warhorse.

So if you like fantasy games, go see the military psychologist.

Positively Stalinist. Isn't this why we fought Communism for fifty years?

I'm pretty sure it was one of the reasons, at least. Didn't Reagan mention Tunnels and Trolls in his Evil Empire speech?


Game enthusiasts are aware of their problematic image in the army and prefer to maintain their anonymity. Many of them are from the former Soviet Union where the game is very popular.

Who knew? But don't take much solace in that; remember that awful Russian band "Autograf" at LiveAid? They were popular in the USSR, too.

... "It's not a game of winners and losers," Matan says, "but rather entry into another world with stories and plot changes."

Ummm.... let's be honest. Let's just say it's not a game of winners and leave it at that.

The army is not indifferent to the unique hobby and is trying to locate soldiers who in their free time dress up as witches and play in forests.

Oh, well, then: that's different. Witches are Chaotic Evil and ought not be trusted.


"One of the tests we do, either by asking soldiers directly or through information provided us, is to ask whether they take part in the game," he says. "If a soldier answers in the affirmative, he is sent to a professional for an evaluation, usually a psychologist."


Matan says he has personally met soldiers whose military career was harmed due to their connection to the game. Most soldiers who play Dungeons and Dragons simply do not admit to it while they are in teh army, he says.

I think that's the wisest course of action for pretty much anyone, whether in the army or not.

Hell, 75% of the reason I keep my anonymity is my fear that my "checkered past" -- and let's face it, this is slightly more embarassing than having possibly been a gay escort -- will be used against me.

"Many people who play served in the most classified units," David says. "They are intelligent and any attempt to label them as 'weird' is incorrect and unfair."

Ehhhhh... again, let's not quibble over semantics.

Bloggers, we cannot let this misguided policy stand. It reminds me of the famous admonition:

When they came for the Star Trek conventioneers, I said nothing, because I never bothered to pick up even a coversational-level of Klingon.

And when they came for the model railroad enthusiasts, still I kept silent, because I just never felt like dealing with all that glue and cotton-swabs.

And when they came for the massively-multiplayer on-line role-playing gamers, I yet held my tongue, because it's difficult to remain IC ("in character") when you're dealing with horny fourteen-year-old boys who keep asking you "where the whorehouse is" and "Doth thee know of any fair maidens who wisheth to cyber?"

And then when they came for me, no one said anything, because there were no geeks, nerds, dorkwads or gaywads left to cry out.

Or, as the great Justice Louis Brandeis said in the landmark privacy case U.S. Versus Asmodeous, Baalzebul, Jubilex, et al., "What a man chooses to do in the privacy of his own home with graph paper and miniature mind-flayers is no one's business but his own."

Thanks, I think, to "Blackjack" at The Hole Card. I think it was he who tipped me, at least; the email seemed to have been sent before it was finished.

Or maybe the IDF intercepted it. Hard to know.

Where is Cedarford when you most need him?

digg this
posted by Ace at 02:16 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
nerdygirl: "[i]She made her bed, literally so she must "lie " ..."

Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now Is the Summer of Our Discontent [/s] [/b] [/i]n: "Apparently, Tater has also tatered that Brandon ha ..."

junior: "@170 Marvel did something like that, called “ ..."

Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo, food, water: "Totes magotes. Posted by: Wyatt Earp at August 08 ..."

Stephen Price Blair: "[i]Clerks was terrific, but wow did his work colla ..."

Kindltot: "[i] Economic theory says an employee’s margi ..."

CppThis: "[i]203 That's only the marginal employee, the last ..."

Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea: "Rewatched John Carter while cleaning earlier. That ..."

kraken: "First Son is a Dope Fiend, and a Sexual Deviant. G ..."

"Perfessor" Squirrel: "Amazon's about to do the same thing to Lord of the ..."

bonhomme[/i][/i][/i][/b][/b][/b][/s][/s][/s][/u][/u][/u]: "WA's 3rd Congressional Dist candidate has his own ..."

Ben Had: "Who in the hells knows what is in the mind of thes ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64