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January 18, 2005

Mr. Paul Anka: Still Kickin' It With Integrity

Well, I had feared that Mr. Paul Anka's guest appearance on Las Vegas would be an embarassing cameo that sullied his reputation for substance on conscious. I'm happy to say I couldn't have been more wrong.

Mr. Paul Anka played, fittingly enough, Mr. Paul Anka, The Only Important Character on That Show. He showed his acting chops as he helped promote a new burger being offered by the casino -- a sign read "Mystique Reinvents the Burger," which sounds like wonderful news to me. A bandleader called Gunther, who I must assume is a highly fictionalized version of Vinny Falcone, provided some delightful comic relief.

Mr. Paul Anka sang a witty and wry re-working of She's Havin' My Baby:

Havin' my burger
What a lovely way of dressin' up a ground-beef pat-ty
Havin' my burger
One bite one taste and I'm certainly feelin' so hap-py

They didn't fry it
Or make it slo-o-o-ow
They grilled up that meat
with goodness sweet
And cooked it just so

Havin' my burger...
What a lovely way to dress up a ground-beef patty...


I am pleased to report that Gunther showed no loose shit with the cut-offs, as the song ended impeccably. I assume he was watching Mr. Paul Anka, Mr. Paul Anka's arms, the instruments and the landing strip, all simultaneously, and with character and heart besides.

For any who saw it, can there be any doubt that Mr. Paul Anka is back?

I think not.

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posted by Ace at 03:00 PM

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