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December 08, 2004
Is George Bush the Antichrist?A brilliant piece that dares to ask the question that's been on everyone's mind. And that's not hyperbole. That's the actual title of the story. You can look it up and everything. Some choice quotes from our tolerant friends on the left who just want to leave religion entirely out of the public discourse: But not every follower of the Prince of Peace is shouting amen to Bush/Robertson/Falwell's Killer Christians. Granted, the fastest-growing churches are either evangelical—Bible believers out to win your soul—or fundamentalists, out to bend your soul to their bluenose will and so literal when it comes to the Bible that some insist Christ's parables refer to actual people and events. Fundies also incline to the authoritarianism of Oswald Chambers, the 19th-century Christian whose harsh sermonettes against rational analysis and for a gut response to God Bush reads each morning (perhaps on this Web site: www.gospelcom.net/rbc/utmost). That's all I can take. Maybe you're made of sterner stuff. Note that once again the left doesn't seem to mind at all when religious doctrine is used to advance the priorities of the left, or denigrate the right. Thanks to Senator PhilABuster. Re-posting: ...from the special one-time Home Office at Lynchburg, Virginia... Top Ten Mandated Changes to Make Christianity More Politically Correct and "Inclusive" 10. "Christian fish" logos must be certified by the EPA as dolphin-safe 9. Key lyric of Martin Greenbaum's hippie-Christian anthem, Spirit in the Sky, changed from "I've got a friend named Jesus" to less-divisive "I've got a friend named Walter" 8. Good Friday officially renamed "Passable Friday;" Ash Wednesday officially renamed "the Day Before Thursday" 7. Placards displaying "John 3:16" outlawed at sporting events; spectators wishing to display their spiritual beliefs may substitute oversized foam-finger bearing the corporate slogan "Dude, You're Getting a Dell!" 6. The requirement that an actual belief in Christ is required to be a Christian ruled discriminatory; churches must offer alternative methods of qualification, such as "celebrating the magical joy of a baby's smile" or "just sitting in the park, thinking about Nature and shit" 5. Christ's words are modified to make them less "harsh" and "hostile" to non-believers; "I am the Way and the Light" changed to "I am the Way and the Light, if you believe in that kind of thing, and assuming that's your bag" 4. By government fiat, Christian Heaven becomes history's first open-enrollment paradise; no particular belief system is required for entry, but applicants must have either a high-school diploma or eight weeks of N.E.A.-approved adult education (in cooking, basic automotive maintenance, or modern Spanish flamenco guitar) 3. Common name "Christopher" -- from the Latin for "Christ-Bearer" -- declared intolerant and offensive; by court order, all men named Christopher have their first names immediately changed to "Mitch" (also acceptable: Walter; see Number 9 above) 2. New Testament rewritten to delete references to Caiaphas and other Jewish priests; henceforth, Christ is accused of blasphemy by Hans Gruber and the German mercenaries from Die Hard ...and the Number One Mandated Change to Make Christianity More Politically-Correct and "Inclusive"... 1. Christian Trinity officially changed from Father, Son, and Holy Spirit to Easter Bunny, Santie Clause, and the Ghost of Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (a.k.a., "The Spirit of Diversity") | Recent Comments
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