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November 10, 2004

Best. November. Ever.

First, Bush won convincingly.

Then, Tom Daschle was booted out of Washington and back to South Dakota, where he belongs. Ummmm... okay, so he's probably just booted out of one Washington job to another. You get my point.

The liberal legacy media is thoroughly dispirited and discredited, and Dan Rather is looking at the coming report on his "mistakes" with the same spooked panic as a dog eyeing up a vacuum cleaner.

Last week, Arafat died, except he didn't quite die. Instead, he seems to be lingering in some comatose nightmare state, beset by frightening demons, kind of like Jacob's Ladder except with a happier ending.

And then we moved on Fallujah. Finally.

But now comes the cherry on the Sunday, because we seem to have confirmation that Ami the Hot Chick on Survivor: Vanatu is, yes, a full-on lesbian.

And she's pretty bossy, too.

What did I do to deserve all this? Surely the Powers That Rule Fate can't be that impressed by gonzo Republicanism, cock jokes, and Billy Squier references.

Or... can they?

You can count on Billy Squier's cock to cut your taxes.

Just Got Slightly Better Update: A Romanian judge has been booted off the bench for moonlighting in hardcore porn.

Her oevure is said to include such cinematic masterpieces as Here Comes the Judge, Hung Jury, Oral Arguments, and the legendary Penal Colony.

Thanks to GregS. I've been waiting to use those cheap jokes on this blog for a year now. Now I'm at peace. (How about Justice of the Piece? No? A little too forced? Oh, well.)


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posted by Ace at 05:14 PM

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