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November 05, 2004

Where's My Million Dollar Bush-Won Check?

As Chris Rock said, why were black people saying "We won, we won!" after OJ was acquitted? Did any of them receive their OJ check?

Well, there's no Bush check, either, except in the form of tax cuts, but since I make my living primarily by promoting illegal underground cockfighting exhibitions, I don't really pay any taxes anyway. So why the hell do I care?

I'm sure Bush and his family feel great. And understandably so. But why on earth should I?

I don't know why I should be happy. But I am. I really, really am. It may be irrational, but I feel better than when the New York Giants won the 1986 Superbowl and the Mets won the 1986 World Series, and that was pretty irrational, too.

KerrySpot sums it up:

To My Right-of-Center Readers: Don't you feel...just terrific?

Mrs. Kerry Spot β€” whose political views are not symmetrical with Mr. Kerry Spot's β€” has been relishing her consolation prizes: a box of truffles and an eerily calm husband.

"Are you all right?"

"Fine, why?"

"You just look so...relaxed. You're agreeable, pleasant, not distracted or stressed or snapping at people. I just haven't seen you this at ease in, like, six months."

Anybody else feel like a ten-ton weight has been lifted from his shoulders? Anybody else feel like every muscle had been tensed and clenched for about two months, and a steadily increasing vice-like pressure had been squeezing him, day by day, as the election approached? Just me? Boy, since that last debate, I just wanted the race to end. Just vote and get it over with.

If I'm feeling irrationally calm and contented, I guess I can kinda understand the lefties feeling irrationally angry and alienated.

Then again, I could still do without the talk of secession, political violence, and moving to Canada.


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posted by Ace at 08:13 PM

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