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Yasser Arafat "In Serious Condition" | Main | Inside Joke About Polling
November 04, 2004

Obligatory Liberal Media Stories

First Obligatory Liberal Media Story: After a Republican Victory, Whine About How Terrible All This is For "Centrists." Don't Mention That It's Even More Terrible For Liberals, Because People Might Just Get to Thinking That Maybe the Republican Victory is Therefore a Good Thing, And We Don't Want Them Thinking That.

The Washington Post comes through: Rightward Shift May Squeeze Centrists.

Second Obligatory Liberal Media Story: After a Republican Victory, Declare That the Most Important Thing Republicans Do is Cede Power to Democrats and Immediately Implement a Liberal Agenda.

Of course? What else would you do after winning a hard-fought campaign, except immediately forfeit your victory the moment you've won? Why, isn't that precisely what Democrats do? The moment Jim Jeffords defected and gave the Democrats unelected but selected control of the Senate, the Democrats immediately offered to begin passing large swaths of the conservative agenda, right?

Riiiiight.

Only a real idiot can try to write this ridiculous obligatory article without busting up giggling so bad that he actually is forced to type the words "giggle, giggle" and "chuckle, chuckle," but fortunately, we have just such a real idiot. His name is Jonathan Alter.

Genius Jonathan figures out that Bush can appease "us" (i.e., liberals) by merely becoming a liberal.

Well, no kidding on that one, Jonathan. I'm sure he could. Did you figure that out all on your own?

On the other hand, what about the majority of the public that voted for Bush on the presumption he'd enact a center-right agenda? Won't they be disappointed?

Oh, yeah: Fuck 'em. They don't count.

Only God's Special Creatures, the precious, dear folk called liberals, need to be -- nay, demand to be -- appeased in such an extraodinary fashion.

We had an election. There is a winner. There is a loser. There is a winning agenda and a losing agenda.

This is the way it works, Jonathan. If you wanted to arrange some sort of power-sharing agreement where we agree we "both win" and we do splitsies down the middle, you should have negotiated terms before the election.

Not after you attempted to win it, and then, thereafter, planned on sticking it to the conservatives if you did.


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posted by Ace at 01:15 AM

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