Germans Still Obsessed With Racial Eugenics

Berlin Man Wants to Make Bananas of Pure Aryan Blood, or At Least Straighten Them Up

What the hell is with the fucking Germans?

Fed up with the inconvenient curved shape of bananas, a Berlin resident has dreamt up a way to straighten this staple of the fruit bowl, even applying to have his banana-straightening method patented.

Karl-Friedrich Lentze thinks he's on to the biggest thing since sliced bread -- the straight banana. Or as he prefers to call it, the "cigar-banana."

The 56-year old social welfare recipient has developed a method to take away the yellow-skinned fruit's distinctive curve.

"Depending on the degree of the curve, chunks will be cut out of the banana, which will then be bound back together using biologically safe bandages," Lentze explained to the German tabloid Bild.

The curvy chunks won't go to waste. Lentze's plan involves either drying them or using them in fruit salad.

"After a certain introduction time, the straight cigar-banana will drive the curved banana from the market," Lentze said. "It's easier to eat, and easier to store."

posted by Ace at 04:51 PM

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