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October 02, 2004

"If you think rape should be legal, then don't vote."

Cameron Diaz, on Oprah Winfrey.

It got me to thinking about two things.

First, are there other one-liners that may be helpful in the upcoming election to discourage turnout (I mean, other than the boring "INS! INS!")?

"If you think John Ashcroft has been peeking at your library records and knows that you still haven't returned 'Pudd'nhead Wilson' (which is now 11680 days late), then don't vote."

"If you think Jed Bartlett would be a good president, then don't vote."

"If you think that AIDS and divorce are hallmarks of your own generation, on par with those of the Greatest generation, then don't vote."

"If you think you could talk to Rosie Perez for an hour without hitting her in the mouth, then don't vote."

The second thing that came to mind was Cameron Diaz herself. How did she happen? Currently, she's fighting release of some nude and/or S/M photos from her early days. God, I hope she's successful, because from what she's revealed, I'm not too keen to see more of that banana peeled.

She's got chopped up, pockmarked skin.

She dates Justin Timberlake.

Her head is . . . well

Good luck in the legal fight, Cameron, and remember:

"If you think your head could be tossed in a nice, tight spiral, then don't vote."

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posted by Ace at 10:21 AM

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