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Mainstream Media Magazine: It's Funny. It's Funny and It's True. | Main | The Speech
May 24, 2004

Jewel: "Look at My Breasts"

Thanks to NRO's The Corner for this gem of a story:

"People were literally walking out of the show," she said. "As soon as she came out, she began to insult us. We thought she was joking at first because it was kind of weird."

Witnesses said Jewel went on a tirade of insults from poking fun at fat people to others with no teeth. At one point, she asked the audience to yell requests and then told them to "shut the hell up."

"I saw her live in Boston and it was the greatest show I’ve ever been to," Dion said. "I don’t know if she was having a nervous breakdown or what. She told everyone to stop looking at her teeth and look at her breasts."

You might think that that's the nuttiest possible thing she could say. After all, everyone at a Jewel concert is looking at her breasts. What the hell else would you look at?

And yet it gets nuttier.

Jewel was on stage for about an hour and played only four to five songs. Halfway through the show, Dion said Jewel began to talk about Zoloft and Paxil for about 10 minutes.

"I don’t know what that was all about," said Nicole Dion, who came from Canada to see the show. "I don’t know if she was on it or what. Maybe she didn’t take it."

Dion said Jewel stopped in the middle of her trademark song, "Who will save your soul," because everyone was singing along. "She said, ‘I would have never guessed you all know the words.’ I don’t know if she was kidding or what."

...

"She said she saw a better audience at a barroom brawl and that all drinkers and smokers were sinners."

Errrmmm...

O’Donnell said the complaints he received enticed him to call Jewel’s management team.

"They basically told me that sometimes she does a lot of tongue-in-cheek humor during her shows," O’Donnell said.

Tongue-in-cheek? Right. I expect her to turn to the typical media PR responses, "I was being ironic" or, from the world of rap, "I was just 'playing a character.'"

Dion said Jewel came out for an encore, but instead of singing one of her hit songs, she yodeled for a minute and then left the stage.

Hot Things About Jewel:

1) Outstanding rack.

2) She yodels. I can use that.

3) Nuttier than a Snickers bar.

4) "Spooky tooth" syndrome.

The last two points create the illusion of obtainability, and are therefore very hot points in her hotness favor.

Keep the crazy shit up, Jewel. You're sexy, baby-- Frances Farmer sexy.


digg this
posted by Ace at 06:37 PM

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