Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!





Recent Entries
Mainstream Media Magazine: It's Funny. It's Funny and It's True. | Main | The Speech
May 24, 2004

Jewel: "Look at My Breasts"

Thanks to NRO's The Corner for this gem of a story:

"People were literally walking out of the show," she said. "As soon as she came out, she began to insult us. We thought she was joking at first because it was kind of weird."

Witnesses said Jewel went on a tirade of insults from poking fun at fat people to others with no teeth. At one point, she asked the audience to yell requests and then told them to "shut the hell up."

"I saw her live in Boston and it was the greatest show I’ve ever been to," Dion said. "I don’t know if she was having a nervous breakdown or what. She told everyone to stop looking at her teeth and look at her breasts."

You might think that that's the nuttiest possible thing she could say. After all, everyone at a Jewel concert is looking at her breasts. What the hell else would you look at?

And yet it gets nuttier.

Jewel was on stage for about an hour and played only four to five songs. Halfway through the show, Dion said Jewel began to talk about Zoloft and Paxil for about 10 minutes.

"I don’t know what that was all about," said Nicole Dion, who came from Canada to see the show. "I don’t know if she was on it or what. Maybe she didn’t take it."

Dion said Jewel stopped in the middle of her trademark song, "Who will save your soul," because everyone was singing along. "She said, ‘I would have never guessed you all know the words.’ I don’t know if she was kidding or what."

...

"She said she saw a better audience at a barroom brawl and that all drinkers and smokers were sinners."

Errrmmm...

O’Donnell said the complaints he received enticed him to call Jewel’s management team.

"They basically told me that sometimes she does a lot of tongue-in-cheek humor during her shows," O’Donnell said.

Tongue-in-cheek? Right. I expect her to turn to the typical media PR responses, "I was being ironic" or, from the world of rap, "I was just 'playing a character.'"

Dion said Jewel came out for an encore, but instead of singing one of her hit songs, she yodeled for a minute and then left the stage.

Hot Things About Jewel:

1) Outstanding rack.

2) She yodels. I can use that.

3) Nuttier than a Snickers bar.

4) "Spooky tooth" syndrome.

The last two points create the illusion of obtainability, and are therefore very hot points in her hotness favor.

Keep the crazy shit up, Jewel. You're sexy, baby-- Frances Farmer sexy.


digg this
posted by Ace at 06:37 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Ricardo Kill: "Has anyone resolved the fucked-up Universe we see ..."

Ricardo Kill: "Oh, and, I did a huge rookie sock fail above. Scr ..."

Rock Cutter: "Go eat a carrot you tea-bagger! Have a Blessed ..."

Peaches: ""Not sure we have a quorum, but here goes: receive ..."

Niedermeyer's Dead Horse: "Congrats Alton! A good man is never down and ou ..."

cthulhu: "469 Not sure we have a quorum, but here goes: rec ..."

MIchaelangelo's Landlady: "Congrats, Alton. Jobs are a bitch. I have one bu ..."

mindful webworker being dragged back to my cell: "Gotta go. Good night, Gracies. Have fun. Or whatev ..."

Truck Monkey, Gruntled New Business Owner: "Congrats Alton! ..."

torquewrench: ""Not sure we have a quorum, but here goes: receive ..."

Slapweasel: "Congrats, Alton! ...and best wishes with that con ..."

MIchaelangelo's Landlady: "M16......M14.........M1 For some strange and ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64