Biden: I Can Remember In College A Math Professor Put Up an Equation He Said Was Unsolvable and I Solved It While On Break from My Job as a Janitor

No, Mr. "President," that's Good Will Hunting.

Aksually Biden didn't claim to have solved an unsolvable problem. Rather, he claimed that in law school, for some reason he decided to answer a question about a case he didn't bother reading (sounds about right, he's a blowhard who is never restrained by his own ignorance) and babbled for 10 minutes about it.

And then he claims -- he really claims this -- he got a standing ovation.

This article is worth reading in full. Biden constantly drifts away from the actual questions being asked and mumbles nonsensical anecdotes. He even kinda-sorta hints he might be willing to pimp his wife to Hur if he just goes easy on him. (Biden says that he hopes Hur didn't find any of Jill Biden's sexy-ass bikinis when he was searching through the garage. Oooh baby.)

But I can't quote it all. So I'll stick to Biden claiming to be a Legal Beautiful Mind.

And to also being a champion archer on his very first shot.

Special Counsel Robert Hur stood by his assessment that President Joe Biden was a "well-meaning, elderly man" whose failing memory would have made it untenable to pursue prosecution of his willful retention of classified records during testimony before the House Judiciary Committee on Tuesday.

Transcripts of Hur's interviews with Biden released Tuesday and reviewed by the Washington Free Beacon support Hur's assessment that there are "significant limitations" surrounding Biden's memory. Throughout the five hours of interviews on Oct. 8 and 9, Biden struggled to recall relevant details about his handling of classified records or when he served as vice president.

The transcript also confirms Biden could not recall when his son, Beau, died, and further shows that the president raised that subject unprompted--contradicting the president's claim during a Feb. 8 press conference that Hur raised the subject.

But the transcripts also reveal that Biden went off on a number of tangents during his interviews with special counsel Robert Hur, including anecdotes about what sound a car makes, a "risqué" bathing suit his 72-year-old wife wears, and a horrific industrial accident where a young man's genitalia was burned off.

Biden didn't stop there....

During this tangent, Biden revealed a remarkable feat: He hit a target hundreds of yards away with a bow and arrow during a visit to Mongolia in August 2011.

"I'm not a bad archer," Biden said, after referring to Mongolian archers as "gorillas." "But ... I hit the goddamn target."

Biden is slowly dying and he's flashing back to moments of his life, except they're not moments from his life. They're scenes from movies and Kim Jung-Il press releases.

...

Later, as Hur attempted to steer the conversation back to how classified documents made their way from Biden's West Wing office to his personal residences, Biden again veered into an unrelated story about how he "didn't take law school very seriously"...

No shit.

...but had a knack for unpacking tort cases on the fly.

"We had a really difficult professor," Biden recalled. "He called on me to--you know how they do in law school, discuss a case, you know, in your first torts class. And I had never read the case, and I stood up and I spoke for 10 minutes. The whole class stood up, started clapping."

Biden, who once falsely claimed he graduated at the top of his class from Syracuse Law School, failed a class after plagiarizing from a law review article about torts. That plagiarism scandal contributed to his failed presidential bid in 1987.

...

At first glance, it's unclear how any of this relates to Biden's classified records scandal. The president later clarified to Hur that he told these stories to demonstrate his lifelong habit of keeping notes.

A commenter asked yesterday if Biden had really made "VROOOM, VROOOM" noises during his interview with the Special Counsel.

Indeed, he did:

The next day, as Hur inquired how classified records made their way to the garage of Biden's Delaware lake house, the president seized the opportunity to demonstrate the power of his beloved 1967 Corvette Stingray.

"It's a long driveway. So I'd get to the bottom of the driveway, tack it up to about four grand," Biden said before making a "car sound" with his mouth. "You think I'm kidding; I'm not."

"I believe you. Yes," Hur responded.

...

The president proceeded to make another "car sound" to demonstrate his point.

"Woah," Hur said, before recalibrating the interview back to Biden's retention of classified records.

We've got to do something about Pop-Pop. You know that, right? It's for his own safety.

I definitely don't want to mock the elderly, but one can respect someone in the advanced stages of dementia and yet still object to him being in a position of decision-making.

On the topic of Biden's slow shuffle towards the grave, people are noticing that he's now been outfitted with very large shoes which seem to have very wide stabilizing soles.

He's got those stupid f***ing aviators on, of course. He still thinks he's a young, spry hellraiser of 70 years.

No offense intended for any elderly Morons. We're all getting elderly.

But... I mean, the White House's defense for Biden's "slips" is that he "runs circles" around the entire staff.

Really?

posted by Disinformation Expert Ace at 03:00 PM

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