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November 17, 2010

Member of Reality-Based Community Arrested For Shooting Television Upon Hearing "Dancing With The Stars" Results

No hate here.

Former Clinton aide now turned unbiased reporter George Stephanopolous probes deeply into the conspiracy of conservative people voting for someone they like on a TV show with no actual prize for the winner.

Is Bristol getting lots of votes from her mom's fans? Um, duh, of course.

Is she ruining the integrity of Dancing With The Stars, then? To ask that question -- including the word "integrity" in there -- is to answer it.

I used to watch The Apprentice, okay? We all have problems.

Anyway, I watched The Celebrity Apprentice not once but three times. In all three series -- but especially in the last two seasons -- the biggest "celebrities" (and I use that term advisedly; Melissa Rivers was a "celebrity" on one show) were consistently advanced despite failing multiple times.

The Joan Rivers season was particularly bad. She apparently insisted that her daughter be on the show and on her team as her precondition for appearing herself. Joan Rivers was like the only real celebrity on the show (C-list, but still, on someone's list) and so Trump couldn't ever fire her.

And he also couldn't fire Melissa Rivers, either, as Joan Rivers pretty much said straight-up she'd quit the show if he did.

Now both, of course, made it until pretty much the end, and Joan Rivers won the show, despite being awful at almost every task given to her. Even on fundraising stuff she didn't really come through.

So, like, I actually said these words aloud: "I know it's insane to even say this but this is really undermining the integrity of The Celebrity Apprentice."

Absurd, yeah, I know. And yet... true!

But the media didn't really treat that as a conspiracy worth mentioning, did it? Or the various kinda lame American Idols who advanced to the end?

No, only the concerns of partisan liberals like themselves are worth a "news" mention.

Liberals in the media are fond of poking fun at the sillier concerns of conservatives. But check out the serious-stuff-going-on-here hearing they give to their fellow liberals indulging in sillier sillinesses.

Yes, it's a great scandal that Audrina from The Hills was sent home a week early despite being a slightly better amateur dancer on a "celebrity" dancing show than Bristol Palin.

But take heart: The Republic shall endure.

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posted by Ace at 02:02 PM

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