Ace of Spades Headlines

Marauding Clown Smashes Reporter's Face, Bolts
"The suspect was last seen wearing a white, baggy clown costume with ruffles on the neck and frilly cuffs, a curly, rainbow wig, and big, red shoes. He is heavyset measuring approximately 6' in height and 240 lbs, and he had a funny walk. If you have seen this clown, please notify the police." [rdbrewer]