Ace of Spades Headlines

April 26, 2006. The purpose of the meeting was

Pompe disease is a debilitating, progressive and

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IÒm sure all of this must mean something.

(Enjoyable not just for the tea, of course)

i couldn't wait for him to put on some mood muzak.

I wonder what the society for the advancement of formal structures would make of this siteabout natural language parsing?

Gawker Media × Fleshbot and ten other weblog titles × brings a young and influential audience to brand advertisers. Click here to find out more about sponsorship opportunities.

If ye dinna catch nae fish, ye dinna get nae pay

I'm not sure exactly if that comment was directly related to the post or if it's a general observation. I'm going to try to address both.

Waxworm Redemption (or should that be Salvation?)

"Jesus fucking ass," he says, and picks up the receiver. "Charges' office, would you mind calling back please? I'm teaching her how to answer her own phone." He hangs up.

(number of panels up to you) Up to three pieces per artist.

I enjoyed this even though I donÒt agree with everything it says.

I did, but I fucked it up, and my sister Gideon was too busy to fix it. I don't know anything about HTML.

Fear, loathing, and perfunctory seduction

Fear, loathing, and perfunctory seduction

you can let me know in pillowtalk, either by writing or linking. i look forward to your submission.

Robert Elms had a piece about secondary transfer in Time Out last week but I canÒt point you directly to it as you have to pay to get it online.

If I had been wearing one on the morning we checked out of our hotel room, Matt and I wouldn't have had to make that incredibly painful trip to the emergency medical clinic on Memorial Day.

WEÒRE not lucky. ItÒs the Irish who have a flower up their backside.

It was really nice to see Robbie and cycle round the pubs of Oxford with him. He needs to find some mates, though, and some artistic inspiration. Any friendly humans in Oxford?

Well, maybe that's a bullshit theory. Maybe it's not. It doesn't, right at this moment, *feel* like a bullshit theory. It rings true.

"Being gay doesn't equal being OK with porn," he sighs. He's constantly bombarded with porn, and doesn't think much of it.

Obviously itÒs hell living in Scotland, but one of the good things is Radio ScotlandÒs eclectic music policy, and you can listen to it on the web

"What is wrong with you?" Matt asks, his eyes on the road.

Hope theyÒve done a statistical significance test on that.

God save the Sex Pistols One means it, subjects We love our boys God bless

Our cat flapÒs broken which we think is the reason why the catÒs peeing everywhere. This is apparently how cats tell you theyÒre pissed off.

There are a million things to say about how the films were put together, the documentary style and etc. and etc. But right now IÒve got some shopping to do.

I asked my bisexual lovers, "Can a whole side of you just "retire"× is that for real?"

Find out here what gas the Russians used, as well as about a more efficient alternative the US has developed.

HNT Ö Damn Good Weekend (sabrinainstockings.com)

Louise of course. Thelma is much too tragic.

Fourth of all, my boyfriend Matt will be in another country the day of the wedding.

ÓYou had your last chance girl. Now you will get a sound lesson in obedience and respect for your elders. Take off your clothes.Ô

I wonder what IÒd have to do to persuade her to come and give a guest lecture?

But being an object and believing yourself to be an object are different. Subtly, but fundamentally different. And slipping under the desk last night... I was believing.

IÒve had dreams with scenes like that in Ñem, but usually only when I was awake.

btw, Shakespeare wrote ShakespeareÒs plays and this is the best evidence.

HeÒs impressed by how many people are keen to attend public talks and debates at the moment.

was reading over in the Blogasm blog bettymcboobs's tale of the first time she Licked a Girl and it reminded me of my first time.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I say.

Naughty Virgin's Inside the Mind of A Virgin

Naughty Virgin's Inside the Mind of A Virgin

well, you'll have to go for a leak eventually, won't you? then we'll see what happens.

Kim RightÅ Look! Shadow puppets! ItÒs a dog! Ruff RuffÅ Meeow!

The Independent also reported OUPÒs Ñtabloid spellingÒ story and their leader writer takes a most enlightened view about it.

Note also his use of the word ÓliberatiÔ in the first interview.

And my silent agreement goes something like "Because she was fucked up enough as a kid to decide to fuck on film for fortune and fame."

I was thinking this afternoon about the old saw "A man wants all women for one thing, a woman wants one man for all things."

In between the laughs I can hear bits of their conversation.

I wonder how robust this statistic is? And does this one only tell half of its own story?

Yesterday was much quieter, but we managed to fit in a visit from Nicki and Clemmie, who enjoyed capering with her cousines.

PS I wonder how Blunkett would feel about the fact that this same person explained how she understood this way of using words by saying ÓitÒs the kind of thing Haider does in AustriaÔÅ

i lay there like a piece of meat, being seen to by a butcher with seven and a half fingers left.

producers, blackberries and holding your drink

The Female Talent can't see what the director is asking for, so she turns around and faces the camera again.

Spoon's Chez Spoon (formerly SpankMeWithASpoon)

then i looked around me, and down at the shag pile rug i was sinking into, and realised that maybe, for him, they'd never been away.

Enjoy our beloved Gore Vidal in all his clothed glory.

HPV causes genital warts, which have never been fun. But in its most deadly strains, it's the primary cause of cervical cancer.

Secret History featuring yet another media appearance for Bessie and Ted.

When it rains you can really smell the poo on the Parkland Walk

ItÒs the only time of the year I wish I had Sky to watch the whole terrible but unmissable award show live. We used to have Oscar parties to watch it all through the night!

Kele Ward Sexy Cowgirl (eroticandy.blogspot.com)

When we moved here, Mrs Stefanou told us this was Ñone of the nicest bits of Crouch EndÒ while her son told us it was a great place to be because it was Ñso easy to get to Crouch End from hereÒ.

Instead Cup seems like a good option, but I know next

I've been going through old pictures and I came across these breast bondage pics.

Remember my little music box that I was so delighted to discover this winter? Yes, Pandora.

And here is the message which started the discussion at Shaksper

ÓWant me to massage that?Ô sheÒd said, laying her hand two inches above the bunched pile of sheet at his crotch. Her voice cracked the quiet like a baseball hitting a window.

I couldnÒt sleep last night, but sheÒs been completely fine

ATTACK OF THE WEDDINGS, BEST SEXES & BEST EXES

What is this country coming to when itÒs only old gits like us (no, heÒs no relation) who can be bothered to utter a voice of dissent every now and then?

Think about that the next time you get off on a money shot.

I have to agree with Merv, whoever he is. Yowza! This is scary to watch.

no fucken way i'm untying you, you stupid bitch, he said, spitting into the bushes. you're fucken well staying right here.

Cre(a)mola Foam found as far south as Sheffield? I thought it was an experiment on us Scots only. So did they have the poll tax in Sheffield too?

But the absolute, most dreadful Best Ex is the one who broke up with you for cheating, hasn't spoken to you in years, and will be attending the upcoming wedding of two close mutual friends.

Linguist Geoff Nunberg considers the way politicians and journalists are pronouncing place names associated with the war on Iraq.

Nigel says that the person referred to in My Perfect Cousin by The Undertones is Jim McCloskey, famous Irish linguist.

And who is responsible for the plumbing?

Two languagey stories in todayÒs Independent, both useable for teaching, I think.

Staying with a poetic theme, here is something I wrote in college. As you can see, I have a rather warped sense of humor.

i could easily excape, given the chance, but i thought it diplomatic to end the situation through a request, rather than through rebellion.

Luckily, Stefan, the director of the institute, was there to discuss it all and I enjoyed listening to Alan and Stefan discussing it all.

ItÒs simple but effective. They also do other genres. Adolescent poetry is worth a look.

ItÒs official now. Black people love ethnorotica. [LiveJournal]

Yes, I love these guys. I want them to be President. Nobody mentions this, but this is really a brilliant parenting book. Throw the rest of them out. (*****)

IÒm surprised she didnÒt wait until tomorrow night.

IÒm surprised she didnÒt wait until tomorrow night.

it was like he had me where he wanted me, so he could do anything he wanted to me, and yet he wasn't that good at what he wanted to do.

My highbrow argument goes something like "Because of Joy King and Steve Orenstein, silly!"

I can't approach another person for sex, even though I'm crazy to get it all the time.

Does anyone else find that hard to process?

WeÒre having a lazy Sunday around here, nothing special going on. IÒm still trying to find a comforable sitting positionÅ

She Got Pimped Review (internetisforporn.com)

Actually, IÒve been back for a while now but too lazy to get back to writing anything here.

Feeling a bit like I fell down the well this week.

Sometimes being a sex slave involves just holding position until the end.

Just another lesson learned. A broken rule will come back and bite you in the ass in more ways than one!

And doesn't *that* little fact make your panties wet?

Any particular reason you'd want to fly to San Francisco? IIRC, Swingers is set in Los Angeles.

Nigella is extremely fuckalicious. It's just a shame that she opted to marry an insidious prick with lots of money, instead of a rich man with an insidious prick...

Damn, once again I was too disorganised to get myself ready in time for National Slacker Day

Down the roof and down the rods all around us,

"There are too many anal penetration shots," she says.

"Only in New Orleans, and I don't think they were real."

For any family members out there who havenÒt seen BessieÒs newest great grandchild yet, IÒve got three (fairly big) pictures here, here and here

ÓMy husband tells me that you know (Well Known Rope Top)?Ô

Those Friday Thing folk said that boobah is Ña bit oddÒ

So help a merry kinkster out, friends, and leave a comment or email the_educated_slut@yahoo.com. Thank you, kindly.

I think this would be fun to try. At least fun to try out on the comment spammers, of course, not on me!

And my collar is lost somewhere in there.

oh, and my cleavage was reunited with miss rachel kramer bussel's boobage. the girls are still rosy from the encounter.

Just been listening to the new album on their website and it sounds just as good.

When thereÒs no protest how can there be song The flowers on the mall told us something was wrong But now weÒre back in control of the human machine We are the future Your future

Submissions should be sent to omyfirstorgasm@yahoo.com. Thank you.

Finally, in my Try This at Home mailbag, I listen to one man's defense for why marijuana is the best sex drug of all time. Conflicting testimonies, anyone?

straight from the telegraph comment pages!

"That's OK. Also, I'm not going on vacation. I'm going on a business trip. I'll only be gone tomorrow and the following day. Can you revise the email you just sent out?"

I answered her questions, I just did not volunteer any further information.

Secret History featuring yet another media appearance for Bessie and Ted.

I sit down at my desk and start writing the job description.

"So, no more running. I aim to misbehave."

As well as the main critical mass ride thereÒs now a north london version.

For you? Chloraform and strapping tape. Or a magazine. Go with the one without the federal charges.

I couldnÒt sleep last night, but sheÒs been completely fine