My Pick for McCain's VP: Apollo Creed

Look, it isn't easy taking on a Messiah. Especially one that comes with his own custom designed Presidential seal and a handcrafted temple that would have embarrassed the Oracle of Delphi with it's ostentatiousness.

So when you are battling an Olympian God, it is inevitable that you are gonna have to bring in a little heavy artillery of your own. And who better than Apollo to help even the slate?

Apollo Creed brings a lot to the table. He's an African-American who has ascended from the mean streets to the top of his profession through hard work and dedication instead of government sponsored preference programs. His friendship with Rocky Balboa (his chief rival) shows that Apollo is capable of reaching across racial boundaries and, in many ways, indicates that Apollo gives more than just lip-service to the notion of a post-racial candidacy.

While some would be messiah's marry women who are ashamed of their country and pal around with domestic terrorists, Apollo Creed was never ashamed of America. While some Presidential candidates refuse to sully their dignity by wearing an American flag pin, Apollo Creed was willing to incorporate the design of the American flag into his "work clothes."

And, unlike ObamaZeus, Apollo Creed is a strong advocate of the capitalist system. He worked hard for his millions, and he isn't embarrassed about the lavish lifestyle he has created for himself. Can any of the Democrats claim to be ardent capitalists? No, my friends.

Finally, Apollo Creed also brings much more foreign policy gravitas to the table than The One. After all, Apollo has been fighting the Russkies since the late 1980's. And, sure, he got killed by one of them. But the Dems are always lecturing us about "sacrifice", aren't they? What greater sacrifice can a man make than to sacrifice his life for his country?

So...."Authentically" black in an age of identity politics, self-made, cross-boundary racial appeal, patriotic, embraces free market capitalism, willing to lay his life on the line in front of his nations enemies, and an Olympian God.

Could you ask for anything more out of a VP nominee? I say "No."

I'll give the Democrats their Zeus. Me? I'm backing Apollo for Veep.

posted by Jack M. at 12:19 PM

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