Duke University's No-Rape rapes Duke University.

Applications to Duke are down 1.1% from last year.

Gee...I wonder what's been in the news lately that might account for that fact?

Student and parent doubts are showing up in the admissions office. Applicants to Duke's freshman class fell 1.1 percent, the first drop in eight years. It was one of only two schools to sustain a decline among those ranked in the top 10 by U.S. News and World Report magazine. Ivy League colleges including Princeton University, meanwhile, had record applications.

Hmmm....I am really struggling here. What could possibly account for this?

``When we tell people our daughter is going to Duke, they say, `Keep her away from the lacrosse team,''' said Sheila Walden, mother of 17-year-old Brittne Walden, a senior at Jonesboro High School in Jonesboro, Georgia, south of Atlanta. ``Instead of getting congratulations, we hear about the lacrosse team. It's a joke.''

You know...this is starting to ring some bells....Can anybody help refresh my memory?

President Richard Brodhead canceled the remainder of last year's lacrosse season and accepted the resignation of coach Mike Pressler. The allegations stemmed from an off-campus party in March 2006. An exotic dancer said she'd been raped by three players, who she said were drunk and made racial slurs.

Charges against the players, Reade Seligmann, David Evans and Collin Finnerty, were dismissed last month after the state attorney general took over the case from the Durham County district attorney. Brodhead was criticized by some alumni, who said he had acted hastily and without evidence.

Let me fix the third sentence here:

"An exotic dancer said lied when she'd she said she had been raped by three players, who she said were drunk and made racial slurs lied about."

Fixed!

University officials say the school will weather the storm and they expect enrollment to rebound.

``Duke has continued to do what has made it a world-class university: enrolled wonderful students; supported talented and dedicated teachers; established new and vital programs; and conducted renowned research and patient care,'' said John F. Burness, Duke's senior vice president for public affairs and government relations.

Hmm...I can think of 88 reasons why it won't.

Well Played, Duke, Well Played.

By the way, I have it on good authority that if you are considering going to School in North Carolina, you really can't beat any of the following schools:

Appalachian State, Campbell University, Chowan College, Davidson College, East Carolina University, Elon College, Elizabeth City State University, Fayetteville State University, Gardner-Webb University, Guilford College, High Point University, Isothermal Community College, Johnson C. Smith University, Lenoir-Rhyne College, Meredith College, Montreat College, North Carolina A&T State University, North Carolina Central University, North Carolina Shool of the Arts, North Carolina School of Science and Math, North Carolina State University, North Carolina Wesleyan College, Peace College, Pembroke State University, St. Andrews Presbyterian College, Salem College, UNC-Asheville, Univesity of North Carolina, UNC-Charlotte, UNC-Greensboro, UNC-Wilmington, Warren Wilson College, Wake Forest University, Western Carolina University or Winston-Salem State University.

Did I leave any reputable college off the list?

No. I don't think so.

UPDATE:

Physics Geek informs me that I did, in fact, leave some other great North Carolina schools off the list. They include:

Greensboro College, Brevard College, Wingate University, Gaston College, Brookstone College, Shaw University, John Wesley College.

So, you know, if you're applying, give them a look too.

posted by Jack M. at 03:19 PM

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