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October 08, 2006
Sobek, Call Your Office [Jack M.]
There's a guy sick of being anal-probed, and he isn't going to take it anymore.
And, no, it isn't Michael. He isn't complaining.
A German lawyer hopes to drum up more business by pursuing state compensation claims for people who believe they were abducted by aliens.
The Welfare State, Is there anything it can't do?
"There's quite obviously demand for legal advice here," Jens Lorek told Reuters by telephone on Thursday. "The trouble is, people are afraid of making fools of themselves in court."
It seems to me that people who thought they were being abducted by aliens would have bigger problems to worry about than looking foolish. But then again, I'm what you call a skeptic.
Lorek, a lawyer based in the eastern city of Dresden who specializes in social and labor law, said he hoped to expand his client base by taking on the unusual work.
He has yet to win any abduction claims, but says there are plenty of potential clients, noting that extra-terrestrial watchdogs report scores of alien assaults every year.
Did y'all know "Lorek" is actually the German form of "Sobek"? It's funny because it's true.
Asked if he was worried he might look ridiculous by seeking justice for clients haunted by aliens, Lorek was unfazed.
"Nobody has laughed about it up until now."
Off the record, Lorek added that the absence of laughter was due to an "alien humor impairing implant" and also "the soul crushing sounds of sobbing when clients get their bills".